I appreciate your efforts to describe a loosely defined catch phrase that is tossed around quite liberally. It reads to me like you just don't like the word "mastery" used in this context, because you later propose a "new" definition/approach which already exists ("I would like to propose a different approach to emotional mastery: that we get to know our emotions, that we become curious about them as well as our own inner lives. I propose we befriend our feelings!") This is not new at all. This is what most coaches, mentors, and healing facilitators consider to be the basis of Emotional Mastery. It certainly has been in my experience working with both therapists and a spiritual life coach. You may be conflating mastery with suppression or avoidance. Not the same thing. I also think that a lot of people use the phrase Emotional Mastery when what they really mean is mastering reactivity and outbursts, etc. Using techniques like deep breathing as you've suggested. Mastering their REACTIONS to their Emotions or their relationship to certain emotional states, not the emotions themselves. I see a lot of online therapists throwing shade at coaches and healing facilitators (and vice versa) over this term. Insulting each others' work or offers and then providing their own (so much better and evolved) services. Basically re-packaged and marketed under different labels and catch phrases, but ultimately resulting in the same exact modalities or processes. The new way to market themselves and "set themselves apart" in a sea of sameness, is to discredit competitors and their work by "redefining" terminology, throwing criticism around, and positioning themselves as the better option. I'm glad to read an article that doesn't attempt to do that, so thank you for this!
What I don't like about the word mastery (in regards to anything) is that is implies a subjugative relationship. This "mind over matter" approach is the same as the head over body which, if it does not directly correlate to a master/slave type relationship, certainly serves a capitalist approach from a more literal standpoint. Caput, Latin for head.
So, to me, the concept of mastery also has connotations built into that point to colonization. As a purveyor of "wild wisdom" I'm all about decolonization of everything from our emotions and instincts to (as women) our periods.
And, no, I'm not proposing a "new way", but a "different approach", the term "befriending" in regards to our feelings, our ego, our shadow, etc. as opposed to subjugation, is commonly used in the practice of Buddha dharma (not something I am exceedingly well-versed in, but something that I have some familiarity with, as it was woven into my training as a certified hypnotherapist).
We don't use the term neurological mastery, we say: "neurological regulation". And though referring to something as wild and primal as emotions through a regulatory process still seems a bit colonist, it's still not as subjugative (to me) as the term "mastery".
I appreciate your efforts to describe a loosely defined catch phrase that is tossed around quite liberally. It reads to me like you just don't like the word "mastery" used in this context, because you later propose a "new" definition/approach which already exists ("I would like to propose a different approach to emotional mastery: that we get to know our emotions, that we become curious about them as well as our own inner lives. I propose we befriend our feelings!") This is not new at all. This is what most coaches, mentors, and healing facilitators consider to be the basis of Emotional Mastery. It certainly has been in my experience working with both therapists and a spiritual life coach. You may be conflating mastery with suppression or avoidance. Not the same thing. I also think that a lot of people use the phrase Emotional Mastery when what they really mean is mastering reactivity and outbursts, etc. Using techniques like deep breathing as you've suggested. Mastering their REACTIONS to their Emotions or their relationship to certain emotional states, not the emotions themselves. I see a lot of online therapists throwing shade at coaches and healing facilitators (and vice versa) over this term. Insulting each others' work or offers and then providing their own (so much better and evolved) services. Basically re-packaged and marketed under different labels and catch phrases, but ultimately resulting in the same exact modalities or processes. The new way to market themselves and "set themselves apart" in a sea of sameness, is to discredit competitors and their work by "redefining" terminology, throwing criticism around, and positioning themselves as the better option. I'm glad to read an article that doesn't attempt to do that, so thank you for this!
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, Lorena.
What I don't like about the word mastery (in regards to anything) is that is implies a subjugative relationship. This "mind over matter" approach is the same as the head over body which, if it does not directly correlate to a master/slave type relationship, certainly serves a capitalist approach from a more literal standpoint. Caput, Latin for head.
So, to me, the concept of mastery also has connotations built into that point to colonization. As a purveyor of "wild wisdom" I'm all about decolonization of everything from our emotions and instincts to (as women) our periods.
And, no, I'm not proposing a "new way", but a "different approach", the term "befriending" in regards to our feelings, our ego, our shadow, etc. as opposed to subjugation, is commonly used in the practice of Buddha dharma (not something I am exceedingly well-versed in, but something that I have some familiarity with, as it was woven into my training as a certified hypnotherapist).
We don't use the term neurological mastery, we say: "neurological regulation". And though referring to something as wild and primal as emotions through a regulatory process still seems a bit colonist, it's still not as subjugative (to me) as the term "mastery".
I really enjoyed this Justice, and 87 different emotions! WOW. Thanks for writing this informative article.
Right! Kinda mind blowing. We still have so much to learn about our feelings, ourselves, and each other.