With Respect to Cynicism, in Hope for Awe & a Prayer to the Mother.
Please, please, dear Mother, Help us to listen, to hear, and to take the actions that can truly heal you and ourselves.
I want to be overtaken by awe.
I really do.
I want to feel my eyes widen in wonder and orgasmic bliss in respect to creation. It’s just not there right now.
Maybe my system isn’t capable of entertaining such sensations after my rather harrowing return journey. Car trouble plagued the last leg of my trip home from Washington again, but worse. By the time I tumbled into my bed my body felt like it had been dealt multiple blows by dull knives. It curled in on itself as if seeking protection as I fell quickly into a deeply fatigued sleep. It has taken a few days for my system to continue to unwind from the stress of it.
That is what is happening in the most personal section of my sphere. I also spent yesterday in my ‘ward off migraine’ mode which involves limiting stimulation, slathering my scalp in oils, and going to bed super early with the hopes of resetting my nervous system. It seems to have worked for the most part though there is still a subtle blur to my vision and a hovering sensitivity.
Aside from what is happening in my own little world, the world itself right now is trembling. It’s not unusual for people to feel extra ‘put out’ when we are overwhelmed and if we are honest, who among us isn't?
I am ultra aware of my privilege to attend to myself in the means I can. I am also ultra aware of the hundreds of lives that have been lost to Helene, the thousands of lives that have been lost in Palestine, the impending storm devastation encroaching on Florida, not to mention the fiasco that is our public election.
We are currently inundated with rather distressing information even if we are not in the middle of it and we are lucky if we are not. Regardless of the distance or buffering that we may have from these incredibly devastating and destabilizing events we are all affected by them whether we are in the center, on the sidelines, ‘holding space’ for people we love or simply reading the headlines. Events like this ripple through the collective and in some cases it's more like a crash that leaves all of us reeling.
I remember last year for several days listening to various new sources as information circulated about the details of the Hamas attacks on Israel. Could we have known that the retaliation for those events would lead to a year-long war and the death of at least 11,000 children? I ‘felt’ at some level I did. I ‘felt’ dark stirrings around that collective ‘crack’. The gory events of that day have only led to even more gory events—more lives lost senselessly.
Are the storms that are tearing into the eastern half of the country ‘real’ or ‘engineered’? I guarantee it does not matter to the people who were in their path. Does the possibility of human engineered destruction speak of us being capable of terrible things? Well, yeah! But we already know that about ourselves—about our ‘species’.
Humankind has been trying to control nature for thousands of years and for the most part the results have all been catastrophic. We are responsible for the dissemination of countless species. We are responsible for eroding once rich farmlands. We are responsible for poisoning our lakes, rivers, and oceans. All of that is without question a result of ‘man’s’ greed, callousness, egocentrism, and lack of accountability. It’s not only all of that though, it’s also our lack of ability to think in multiplistic ways as well as our own disconnection from ecosystemism.
Gahhhhh!
Help, Mamma! I am frustrated. Before I started typing I was also feeling cynicism staring to take me. Though I have honed my somewhat scrupulous view on reality, I don’t want to be without wonder!
I like the story that Mr. Rogers is accredited with: “In times of trouble look for the helpers.” Or something like that. I’m looking. Not only am I looking for what we above ground are doing but what is happening deeper in our ‘roots’? What sustenance can the hands of the Unseen lend?
Nature has her own design and her own momentum and we for all of our attempts to control Her, we are part of her. Maybe it’s time to speak to this ‘part’.
Dear Nature, Dearest Mother,
You who enfolds us and with whom our destiny is entwined…
hear us.
We are sorry for what we have done to you for as long as we have been doing it. We realize that an apology really needs to come with time, space, and modified behavior—but what if we cannot stop? I do believe many of us are trying. I do believe many of us are trying to buy less, waste less, and love you better. I do believe that there is awakening to our relationship with you and many of us are seeing that when we are hurting, ignoring, neglecting, and abusing you we, too, are consumed by those affects. I see a web of lies that has been woven around you. How can we free you? I place my hand on my heart and my feet in the soil at Your direction.
I pick up trash where I can and water what is dry that is under my care. I water myself and those who I care about. I speak up when I can when I feel moved—when I feel brave. I ask for more bravery. I ask for mediation of your rage, though Gawd knows we deserve it.
Can you give us more time?
Time to catch up to our own indiscretions against you and ourselves.
We are trying…many of us are. We are trying to find our way back to you to stop hurting you and to stop hurting ourselves.
Won’t you help us help you?
The sunsets are still stunning no matter how many lives quake with suffering around the world and maybe that is part of your promise to us. The sun still rises as you spin around it in your infinite dance evoking life from the soil as dry and stripped as it might be and maybe that is part of your promise. The rain still falls, though unquestionably not as pure as it once was and maybe that is part of your promise.
Please, please, dear Mother,
Help us to listen, to hear, and to take the actions that can truly heal you and ourselves.
Awomb.
That’s all I got…
Love,
~Justice
Mother Nature definitely cries for us. The outer "disturbances" we create on this planet look way bigger in comparison to Her natural catharsis. :( I love your thoughts on this.