Greetings sweet loves!
I want to express my gratitude to each of you for your continued support and participation in this newsletter.
Thank you!!
I don’t like being told what to do or how to feel on any given day, or holiday. The Hallmark markers that say “Feel this, do this on this day,” tend to annoy, rather than inspire me.
For the last few years I find myself moving counterclockwise to the Gregorian calendar, as that makes more sense to my soul and body. Widdershins, to anyone who is not familiar, is the “left-handed” path which has, in the past, taken on a bad connotation in reference to witches.
We, who walk the left-handed path, are not celebrating the winding down of the year right now; we have already slipped into a new one. Samhain (Halloween) marks the end of the year with the sacrifice of the Horned God, and now we wait for his re-birth at the Winter Solstice with the “return of the light”. This time of year, traditionally, is meant for slowing down, eating well, and taking reflection.
So it is no wonder that for many of us the holiday hustle and bustle can provoke a good bit of anxiety. Me, it’s me. I’m the one who gets anxious about going into any big store this time of year. I can feel the franticness, and underlying consuming hunger. It’s unsettling. That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the other festive components. I do! I love the stringing of lights, the exchange of good wishes, and all the charming nostalgic decorations. I just helped OL 96 (that’s what I call my elderly client) put up all her decorations—some which are over 100 years old!
Yes, there is a charm and warmth to the chilly Christmas season—and there are layers of emotions in what I experience in myself and observe in others.
It’s not uncommon for people to feel a sense of melancholy amidst the seasonal celebrations. Lost and estranged loved ones can leave a gap in our lives that feels more pronounced this time of year. And not everyone’s family dynamics, or memories, are what we would call “jovial”.
Even in the best of circumstances gatherings can take a toll on us emotionally and financially. Feeling obligated to cook for people, provide food, and then also buying gifts adds up. And even if we do enjoy it, it can still be a lot of pressure..
It’s sort of the seasonal flavor though: wants, needs, gratitude, benevolence, scarcity, disappointment, and delight all wrapped up together under the proverbial tree.
We all have wants and needs; it’s just a part of being human—a rather lovely part if you ask me. Need is the mother of invention. And desire fuels life.
Desire is wonderful to feel, cultivate, and nurture; however, desire without satiation can become consuming. And a society that engenders hunger to fuel the economy becomes addictive and self-consuming.
It is not my intention to levy shame at anyone for liking things, buying things, for collecting things…for shopping. Lawdy knows I enjoy it. I simply want to remind us that we are more than that. It’s important to hear, I think, because AI engines categorize us as consumers.
Who hasn’t had the experience of talking about something with a friend, then opening their phone only to have their social media or email filled with advertisements for that object? I notice on regular cable TV, QR codes now pop up on the screen; you can scan it with your phone and be taken directly to the website. Sure, this is convenient; it also puts all kinds of things that we don’t actually need right at our fingertips.
Instant accessibility requires us to develop discernment as we utilize its convenience, and this is a great time of year to practice it!
Before purchasing something ask yourself:
“Is this a want or a need?”
Needs are survival oriented. Wants are desire oriented—and we don’t need to invalidate our desires to make distinctions between them and needs.
We can, however, be more mindful of where our resources go and who and what we support with them by taking an embodied approach to our spending. What does embodied spending look like or, more accurately, feel like?
Embodied Spending:
Start by taking a breath. Let the air fill your lungs and move your belly. Inhale and exhale slowly. As you do so, try moving your body a little bit. Roll your head, stretch your arms, wiggle your toes. Engage your senses. Look out the window for a moment, try to get a whiff of something fragrant in your environment. Listen to the sounds of the room.
Engaging our senses brings us into the present moment. It helps us “thaw” numbness we may not be aware of; it also helps soothe anxiety. Sometimes shopping, wanting, and “needing” come from other unmet needs, physically and emotionally.
Once you have checked in with your senses, take a sip of water. See if you are hungry. This last one is a big one. It’s easy to mistake hunger with desire and vice versa. The impulse to “fill” ourselves can take many shapes. And a good way to curtail the desire to over-indulge, in many ways, is to take account of what we are grateful for.
Once you have “checked in” with your senses, made sure you are hydrated and feeling nourished, try making a short gratitude list. It might be as simple as:
“I am grateful I have food in the cupboards, clean water to drink, a roof over my head, and am in fairly good health.”
That’s solid, not far-fetched, and you can always embellish. It’s great to get a bit more specific. We can mention relationships, the place where we live, our pets. I, for example, am grateful for my 2 cats, Odin and the most recent addition to our family, Inanna. I’m grateful for my little mini Aussie, Freckles. I’m grateful for my roommate; we get along swimmingly. I’m also grateful for my caretaker’s job, and especially for my now 96-year-old client.
I’m grateful that you all keep including me in your world and for the opportunity to serve you!
Make your own gratitude list. And share some thoughts in the comments, if so inspired!
When it comes to buying gifts for others, you also have options.
You can check in with others about what they need. You can purchase from craft-people instead of big “box” corporations. You can offer experiences instead of “things”; and those experiences and be low cost or even free. You can say no to spending money on people you don’t know well.
You don’t need to go into debt this holiday season: not emotionally, physically, or financially. It’s okay to conserve energy, time, and resources for the people and things that truly matter to you.
Paid subscribers: stay tuned for a video about the Embodied Spending process. As well as a Winter Solstice ritual December 22.
In other exciting news, I have been rebranding my business (again!) and recently launched the new website. sensesandsymbols.com is live!! This represents a lifetime of growth, healing and learning. And until new year’s you can get 20% off everything from immersive session container, upcoming classes, and the super fun merchandise that I have designed using the code* MYTHANDMAGIC at check out.
Thanks so much and so much love to you and yours,
~Justice
Yes to this. I used to spend too much $ on gifts for family and friends and it's not my holiday. I finally, nicely said decades ago, let's no exchange, but get together for a meal or a coffee. It was not initially well received but it did not take long. And yes, winter to me is slowing down, sleep around eight. some light napping, good warm hearty food, but some white lights and greenery. And, snuggling with my cat Hamlet. Thanks Justice and happy Winter Solstice, it will be here soon.
Happy Winter Solstice to you, too, Jan! It is so nice to enjoy things at our pace—peaceful and healthful.