No New Year's Resolutions, (just) Ongoing Dedication.

For the late bloomers seeding, rooting, and resting...I see you.

Hello lovelies,

We find ourselves on the other side of that odd liminal time known as the “holidays”.

There are billions and one ways to celebrate or not as it suits you, and I hope that you found a way through these last few weeks that was nourishing for you mind, body, and soul. Or that you partied your pants off…whatever floats your boat.

The calendar now says 2024, but all that really means to me is that I need to adjust the date I write on my rent check.

For myself, and those of us who adhere to a widdershins calendar (that means the left-handed path), we cycled into a new year after Samhain. For me the festival of the dead and the honoring of the last harvest was the end of the year. I did my shedding ritual, offered gratitude, and snuggled in to await the return of the light on Solstice, December 21. I shared with you my thoughts from my family’s visit. And I offered you a poem for Mother’s Night. The next point on the calendar that holds importance to me is Imbolc, February 2, also known as Brigid’s day. It also happens to be the day we begin the Dream Keys course: exploring the symbolic nature of reality. That, too, will have its cycle, going from the “first planting” to Spring Equinox, March 21.

Last week I took time off from client work to enjoy that liminal time between Christmas and the turn of the year on the Gregorian calendar. I tend to stay in on any holiday that is big for people going out. I prefer the quiet and safety of my own home, or an intimate gathering, to the throngs of people who often gather out of a sense of either escape from themselves or obligation to social observations.

On new year’s eve I left my house just long enough to re-supply my rum, buy a couple of plants, a new candle, and some potions for my bath. That evening I filled the tub with lavender salts, soaked, then rubbed rose oil into every inch of my body before slipping into bed for the third time that day to doze until I felt like getting up and cooking. Once I finally did, I poured a glass of wine and went about searing chicken, chopping onions and cabbage, and mixing everything in my biggest cast iron skillet before placing it in the oven to braise.

I swirled about my kitchen, barefoot and wearing a purple nightie with rosebud lace trim, and besides nourishing my body in all the good ways, I made no inclinations towards ritual simply because it did not call to me.

I’ve been writing and coming into a deeper understanding of how I move through the world, and how I best accomplish goals and tasks. I need to take small manageable bites and chew each one before lifting my fork for the next, let alone considering what I am going to put on my plate when I am done with that.

I am not a “big picture” type of creator. Yes, I have a vision for my life—what I would like to experience, what I would like to bring forth, what I want to create—but when I focus on the largeness of all of that, I feel utterly overwhelmed and see no way to make that a reality. Over the last few weeks I've been aiming for a page count on my manuscript, and when I hit it I pause, chill, and have a little celebration. Feel some grief, some fear, and all the excitement.

I'm currently 6 pages from my next goal number (220!) where I will evaluate the content and begin some editing if it feels complete. I need a beta reader next. Those are the steps I can currently handle in my focus.

My roommate is a "big picture" person, and as soon as he started talking to me about things that are seriously exciting—an audio book recording, promoting, speaking engagements, a book tour—I could feel myself shutting down. I got agitated. Overwhelmed. I asked him to stop.

Writing a book has been a dream of mine for years, and completing it will only be possible for me if I do it one bite at a time until each little meal is done. Then we cook something else, and go onto the next. At 43 years old, I'm finally understanding how I need to go about setting goals and accomplishing tasks!

Understanding the way I create, and write specifically, also makes it clear why essays and articles are "a piece of cake", but a book has felt daunting. I’m also accepting that I am not someone who can “cut out” all external stimulus ie. turn off my phone, lock all the doors, and windows, and sequester myself to write; I need multiple “channels" “running” to focus.

Coming to these understandings about my creative process and natural rhythms of dedication and focus is a game changer.

This is how I am going to “beat” perfectionism which is a creative's greatest enemy. This is also how I get around my story about being a procrastinator. I’m not. I move when the energy and information is aligned and available.

I may be what Clarissa Pinkola Estés calls a “late bloomer”. Maybe you are as well. She tells the story of a certain cactus that takes years to bloom, but when it does it’s blossom and fragrance and stunning to behold! Late bloomers are not really late, either; we are blooming right when we are meant to. We are utilizing the nutrients in our environment in the way that only we know how to. We are turning our heads to the sun at just the right moment or perhaps, as some exotic blooms do, we are opening ourselves to the white belly of the moon.

You don’t need resolutions to tell you who you are, what you value, or what you’re worth. If you like them, then by all means go ahead and make them. And please know that you are beautiful as you are! The turning of the year only means what you make it. If you need to rest, rest. If you need to move, then move. If you have seed ideas spilling from within you that are seeking fertile soil then for the love of Gawd—plant them.

There is a practice that I have engaged in for quite some time when fomenting new possibilities and outcomes: choose a word or two or even three that hold an energetic imprint for what you want to bring forth in your life.

My words this year are: containment, refinement, and play!

And whatever it is that you need to give yourself, offer it wholeheartedly so that in your own time you, too, can bloom!

Lotas love,

~Justice