There is only so far that mental gymnastics, processing, and ruminating can get us.
Sometimes we just need sleep and if we can’t sleep then we need rest. When in a restful place we may be surprised by what comes up from our soma and psyche. We may find certain things “unwinding” we may find scenarios that arise from dreams that were being gate-kept by our conscious mind.
I have gone to bed at 8:30 for the last 2 nights. The first night I slept through until about 4:30am. Last night I slept through even more deeply until about 6am this morning.
Aside from feeling into and following the events of the world at large right now, I am sitting with a personal decision that would alter the course of my life if I were to take it. I have been holding the immense energy, peering into various fantasies, and rationally investigating other components.
Yesterday I did a bunch of work on my writing project, sat with a couple of clients, and had an in-depth conversation with someone relevant about this possible... "decision" isn't even the right word—more like monumental "pivot". This all took energy, investment, and so much "holding".
At 8pm I could not even follow the plot of "Elementary", the show I’m binging about a modern rendition of Sherlock Holmes, my brain was done. I took off my glasses as I lie on the couch drifting when I had a holy "Go to bed!" moment. And I did. And it was wonderful. My blankets swaddled comfortingly around me. My pillows rose up to enfold and support me.
More often than not in the energetic realms, as with most of my life, I function as a mediator. I feel the various waves of the collective’s energy rise and fall. I find I am often ahead of it. Maybe it assists me in being able to “hold space” for others. Maybe it is just part of my constitution. Either way, I frequently find myself “moving” through things before they “hit” the masses. Maybe it is a bit of premonitive psychality, yep just made up both of those words, but it has been happening to me for so long it deserves its own terminology.
We are more than individuals having isolated experiences of being human. We are relational and ecosystemic beings. We feed each other’s roots and stems and we give rise and way to each other’s flowers and seeds. We feel for each other and with each other. This is not some “super power” this is how our nervous and empathetic systems function. It absolutely requires energy for us to to be wired in this way—whether we are aware of it or not.
It takes energy to move through things in our psyches, to birth our creativity, to change our lives. It takes energy to "process" big collective events and these days we hardly get a break from one to the next.
Whatever is going on in your world or however you may be feeling about the world “out there", it’s okay to stop “chewing” on it. It’s okay to push pause on certain conversations. It’s okay to put the “solution” on the back burner. It’s even okay to step away from that pressing project for a bit.
Sometimes the creative fire lifts us and pulls us through the muck, mire, and exhaustion. It gives us wings to do all the things!
Sometimes we just need to go to bed.
Lotsa love,
~Justice