Conflict, Care, Social Media & Mending this Beautiful Brokenhearted World.

A bit about Israel, Gaza, trauma-tending, finding peace, and more.

I would like to try to talk about some things that are difficult for many different reasons. This will include the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, but it is more than that. It is about how division breeds more division, and intolerance leads to atrocity. But then again, it is also about a kind of psychotic moral superiority, and a deep historical, religious schism, and also how we “present”ourselves on social media.

So bear with me as I try to make some sort of sense of these massive concepts, and then attempt to tie them together in a way that is cohesive, personal and relatable.

As is often the case for me, this post is, in part, motivated by listening to people shout into the “void” that is social media. 

A recent post that twisted my panties was by someone  “‘calling out” coaches and other “heart-centered” people for not filling their feeds with outcries against “the genocide”. (Ughhh, which one?) And then a rather snide comment: “Hope you all are staying regulated.”

Emotional and neurological regulation is not static; it is personal and ecosystemic. And it looks different on different days.

There are those of you whose childhood was a war zone and many of you still bear the physical, emotional, and psychic scars of abuse and abandonment. You are not required to re-injure or abandon yourselves to leap into a foray that you simply cannot handle today. Your well-being, and what you give back to the world each time you choose to thaw, to feel, to tend to yourself, your life, your loved ones, and heal is a moment-to-moment commitment to be responsible with your life-force. 

There is a subtle shaming in telling people what they should care about, how they should feel, and how they should spend their time, energy and resources that I do not react well to. I know enough people who are managing significant issues: health-wise, relationally, financially, etc. to know better than to tell them they are less than human or not empathetic if they do not shout their moral outrage into the (often) vacant "void" that is social media.

That is a personal choice for how to use your time, energy, and resources—and it is no better or worse than doing anything else. It would behoove all of us to remember that what we see on social media is the tip of the iceberg of a person's existence, and that we have no idea what they talk about behind closed doors or what they may struggle with that they don't "share". 

I, personally, have stopped “bleeding ink” for people I don’t know, as well as letting people wreak havoc with my social media wall, and I feel better for it. For those of you who follow this newsletter, you may also remember me writing about the Israel/Gaza tragedy around the time my mom left. I listened very closely in the early days as my guts “felt” we may be watching the beginnings of WWIII taking place. 

And I was shocked, horrified, and scared.

In regards to the current conflict in the Middle East, which is actually an ancient conflict that has been repeating itself since biblical time, there is something exceedingly sinister unfolding and the only real side to be on is that of the children, those who have lost loved ones who have been taken, raped, brutalized, and murdered. 

I don’t know how to emphasize this enough: Suffering knows no political or religious affiliation. It knows no borders, it doesn’t recognize race or station, and it is impervious to the cries of moral superiority. 

If right now you say: “I am grieving for the 1,400 plus people who lost their lives on Israeli soil in an act of pure hatred and terrorism.” You are sane and full of compassion. If you say: “I am grieving for the countless lives that have been lost in Gaza as result of acts of retaliation and retribution by the Israeli government (especially the women, the elderly, and the children).” You are also full of compassion and utterly sane. 

If you say about either group or situation: “They deserved it.” You are sliding into a place of judgment and a separation from your own humanity, and would better be served by contemplating your own, and or the death of someone you care about because every one of the gawd-blessed souls who has lost their lives was someone’s beloved: child, mother, father, sister, lover, and friend. 

Once upon a time, as told in a story about a family who had a “special” relationship with God, there were 2 brothers who were in constant competition with each other to be the “best”. To have the best crops, the best animals, and the best sacrifices. Eventually in an act of utter frustration and complete dehumanization one these brothers killed the other in an act of mind-numbing jealousy. 

And here it is: the birth of the great schism in the death of one brother, and the condemnation of the other. 

Keep in mind that Islam and Judaism also share the same father: Abraham. And that these bloodlines have been at each other’s throats forever. Also keep in mind that unlike extremist Islam, Jews do not memetically uphold the idea that the murder of “infidels” puts them in higher standing with God. 

In our search for religious tolerance we can tend to forget that for some religious superiority literally includes (and celebrates) the death of those who are unlike them. This is a psychospiritual infection that some of us may have a hard time wrapping our minds around because we are so ingrained with the perfectly rational notion of “live and let live” that the idea that someone else’s existence is an actual offense and even worse, that the eradication of their existence affords the perpetrator with a special place in the afterlife is an untenable concept.

I would offer this podcast, for those inspired, as a reminder of what a “Jihadist” mentality is about, and the danger it poses to everyone. 

Hell of a thing to wrap your mind around, but this is also how we wind up actually creating hell on earth: 

The treatment of others, ourselves, and the planet is of no consequence in the here and now, for all rewards shall be reaped in the fantastical hereafter. 

To address the cultural and emotional complexities of conflict—(religious, political or otherwise) without launching out of our bodies, and allowing our amygdala to hijack the “show”—requires that we get in “touch” with uncomfortable, conflicting feelings and even physical sensations. It also requires discernment, nuance, and common sense. Not to, in any way, “put down” the general populace, but these are the very things that are in rather short supply on social media, which frankly makes it a terrible place to attempt important discussions. 

And with all the censorship and algorithms burying anything that does not fit whatever the mainstream's narrative is, there are actual punitive consequences for people's businesses to talk about things that can literally get them banned. 

So to now come back around to the tendency to “call out” people who aren’t screaming bloody murder into the void: 

You don't owe it (social media) or anyone on it shit—not your (real) feelings, not your rage or grief, not even your empathy.

It is entirely possibly to be attuned to the pulse of the world and not be posting on social media about it. It is entirely possible to be engaged in important discussions and not turn your “wall” into a social media mosh pit for other people to come and take a crap in your space. You have the right to protect yourself. You have the right to your opinions: to share or not to share. 

Those who can see cannot shut out the horrors or the beauty of this world. Those who can hear cannot stifle either the cries or the laughter. And those who can feel, the pain, as well as the beauty, can feel as sharp as a knife. 

So what do we do?

What do we do about Gaza and Israel? About Ukraine? About a possible looming conflict with China? How do we face the ever-emerging blatant psychopathy that is infecting this world?

Honestly: Pray.

Don’t just pray in your closet or at some sanitized, cloistered citadel. 

Pray in the dirt. 

Pray when you hold your children. 

Pray when you are faced with someone you dislike.

Pray like your life depends on it.

Pray with your whole heart, mind, and body.

Use your hands to work goodness into life in only the way you can. Feed people, love them, touch them, listen to them, and actually hear what they are saying to you. Make prayer a practice, one that takes up more space in your life than arguing with strangers on the internet or worrying about people who you cannot touch that are thousands of miles away. Call people you know; let them know you care.

Pray for courage to make a difference. Pray for wisdom to have discernment about what is yours, and what is not, about what to pick up and what to put down. Pray for power so that you can take meaningful action. 

Have hard conversations, laugh at ridiculous things, throw beautiful garden parties, be good to someone who needs it, and don’t be afraid to live your life; there are far too many for too many reasons, that will never get the chance.

Lotsa love,

~Justice